Looking for Difficult Conversations in the Workplace !

At a recent regional seminar, a discussion developed around using coaching and communication techniques to address employee issues. An example of an unsuccessful application was when an employee came to see his superior to announce his decision to leave the company. The superior applied the different tools he had learned during the training programs, and although he rigorously followed the methodology, he did not succeed in convincing the employee to stay with the company.

The discussion then turned to the choice of encouraging, or even provoking, “difficult” dialogues rather than waiting for the need to arise (for example when an employee decides to resign or when another issue reaches a “boiling point” situation). Some in the discussion argued that there is anyway a gap between management and employee’s point of view, whether it is on compensation, incentives, workload or management itself. So inviting employees to challenge and discuss and debate about anything would create never-ending discussions. They reason that it is probably best not to open the door to debates around irreconcilable viewpoints.

I argue that these dialogues and conversations take place anyway. Probably amongst employees during or after work, either live or via text messages or social network sites. As management, we indeed have a choice. We can avoid these conversations reasoning that anyway the issues raised are inherent to the employer/employee gap and cannot be “solved”. And we handle issues as they appear. Or we can decide to actively participate and learn from these conversations. Indeed, there will always be a gap between management’s and employees’ points of view. But allowing the conversations to take place, and to participate in them, brings several benefits.

We can learn about what is going on, what is being discussed and what people’s concerns are, without having to go for elaborate surveys or questionnaires. We will create the perception that there is openness and that everything can be discussed (even if not everything can be “solved”). Venting and complaining will be part of the conversation. But some issues will pop up that can be solved in a satisfactory way. These examples will show both to the employees and management that progress is being made, even if the gap remains.

When an employee takes the courage of going to see his management to announce he is leaving, he already has made up his mind (and nearly in every case, he has already signed a contract with a new employer). At that moment, starting a conversation is too late, whatever the approach or tools employed. Although there is some discomfort in opening up conversations that will sometimes be difficult, I believe that over all it is a better approach than not doing so.