There ARE stupid questions

I like to hand out the key ring in the picture when I organize a workshop around asking questions. In these workshops, we discuss the types of questions there are and how they can be applied in different situations. There are the closed, or yes-or-no questions (not really good). And the open questions, that allow a creative and genuine exchange (very good !). And on the top of the pyramid is the "why ?" question, the Mother of All Questions. The "why ?" question probes for depth and helps to unveil the real reasons behind whatever is being discussed.

But here's a few "why ?" questions I hear quite often: "Why have you done it this way ?" and "Why are you late again ?". They are open questions probing for depth, but are very strongly opinionated. So what is a real "why ?" question and what is a fake one ? I was struggling with this until very recently, when I learned in a webinar the "You idiot" rule from Roger Schwartz. Roger Schwartz is a management thinker and author and his recent book on team functioning is Smart Leaders Smarter Teams (my copy is on the way from Amazon !). His very simple "You idiot" rule allows to separate questions that really look for an answer from those that are fake (whether they are open, closed or why questions).

His "You idiot" rule goes as follows. When you are about to ask a question, think of this question and add "You idiot" at the end of it. If the meaning of the question still makes sense, you are about to ask a rhetorical or fake question and not a real one. Try it. Add "You stupid" to the two example questions above: the questions still make very much sense (you are actually adding some "punch" to them !).

Now what about "What would be the other options ?" or "What do you think about this ?" Not in the league of the Grand "Why ?" question, but if you add "You idiot" at the end of each, the question no longer makes sense. This is a genuine question.

This is a very simple rule, but since I picked it up a few weeks ago, it has stuck in my mind and I realize I am actually using it. And it works. So try it out for yourself ! Tip: check the "You idiot" rule before you ask the question ...