The Chinese symbol for listening is pretty powerful. As shown in the picture, it is composed of several sub-symbols. Of course there is the symbol for the ears, which is what we associate with listening at the first level. But the real interest lies in the other symbols that complete the symbol that represents listening:
- mind (to think): what are you thinking about when you are listening ? Are your ears listening but is your mind wondering off, thinking about something completely different ? Are you thinking about what you can say next to show you know better ? Or are you really immersed in the story, its context and the different angles ?
- eyes (to see): what are you looking at when you are listening to someone ? Are you glancing at your cell phone for the latest email, or at the clock on the wall ? Or are you looking at the person in front of you, their body language, the way they look at you ? Looking people straight in the eyes ...
- undivided attention (to focus): do you focus completely on the person you are listening to ? To their words, their posture, the actual words they are using, the sentences that are being spoken ? Or are you preparing in your head that email you want to send, or the difficult meeting yesterday with your boss ?
- heart (to feel): are you feeling what the other person is feeling ? Do you "hear" what is not being said, or about maybe the underlying message that is being shared hesitantly ? Or are you filtering out that information that is not aligned with your views or values ?
Listening or hearing are words we use easily ... "Yes yes, I am listening ... I am hearing you". Yet to what extent do we use not only our ears, but also minds, eyes, heart and give the exchange our undivided focus ? Fully listening is not easy: it requires a bit of practice, but is very rewarding, not only for the listener, but even more so for the person who is sharing his story.
No comments:
Post a Comment