What (or rather who) stresses you out ?

In a study around stress, researchers measure stress levels directly from the levels of cortisol in saliva. A bunch of participants were asked to swab their mouth every hour, put the swab aside, and write down what they were doing at the particular moment of sample-taking. The results ? People have the lowest levels of stress when they are with friends, relatives or their spouse. And they are most stressed when they are with colleagues or clients. And who tops the list of stress-creators ? The boss. The highest level of stress exists when people are in the same room as their boss.

Since most of us spend more time at work than with our spouses or friends, this means we are stressed for most of our waking hours. And this most likely impacts how we then later on interact with friends or relatives or spouses. If you are a business owner or leader of a team, isn't it a scary thought that the people who work for you are most stressed when they are near you ? You may think your door is always open and that you are a very open-minded leader. You may try hard to be fair to everyone and you may even manage to control your emotions to minimize the impact on those around you. But you are the boss. And that reality has a significant impact on how the ones reporting to you feel when they are with you.

The best way to minimize the negative impact of the stress you generate - most of it unconsciously - is to be aware of how you interact with those reporting to you. Evaluate yourself after each discussion or meeting and create the habit of creating a small learning/reflection loop several times per day. Was this time better than the last one ? How did the person on the other side of the table contribute or react ? What did you do that seemed to have a pretty good impact ? In the next meeting, what would you repeat or on the contrary avoid saying ? Make an explicit effort to reduce stress for those around you through small gestures or practices.